Okay, I’ll be honest now. The past week and two days haven’t exactly been perfect in my opinion. I don’t get why I’m so lethargic! Every morning when I step into school, I feel as though I’m going to die from exhaustion. Like some crazy force of energy is sucking my life away. And guess what? I found out what was the root of my problems.
No matter how much caffeine I’m taking in, no matter how many thousand hours of sleep I’m getting, I never ever seem to focus in class. I keep falling asleep. And you know what? I feel real guilty, well kinda.
Because actually, the fault doesn’t lie with the school I suppose. I’m just pulling in school as a scapegoat, and I feel like a total loser for doing that. It’s all my fault. I’m too much of a liar and cheat. I promised my parents, my teachers and myself to pull myself together and start working hard at the start of the year. Yet I broke the promise and brought these problems onto myself. I can’t help but feel a twinge of horrible guilt when I see myself flunking tests, because this isn’t what I promised everyone. Sigh, my teachers are putting so much effort into teaching. So are my parents, who’re working to give me a good education…
Yet all I give them in return is crap. D;
That’s what happened to me last year. I was slacking like crazy and I knew it myself but I didn’t want to pull myself up. I just kept falling and falling time and again and behaved like a serious ass. And all I ended up getting myself really hurt in the end. I’ve learnt my lesson, and I don’t want to make the same mistakes again. But I can’t seem to put enough effort to stop myself from slipping again.
:/ Well, life goes on. I won’t stop trying, and I hope nobody reading this stops trying too. Because the most important thing in life, is to be happy! :-D So now, SMILE, give yourself a pat on your back and tell yourself that everything’s gonna turn out just fine, like it should be.
Sometimes I’m amazed at how overly optimistic I can get! But it’s good I suppose. Chowy says I’m a good counselor, and I don’t deny it. Being able to help people with their problems just makes me feel good! I love talking to people, which makes me an attention-seeker in some way. :-D Like, w00t.
Something kinda scared me yesterday, though. Like I told Twin:
No, I'm perfectly fine. 'Cept for a bruise near my ankle. I was crossing the road, and then suddely this car came WHIZZING down and swirling and swirling (The driver was drunk I guess). And then few seconds before he hit me I managed to jump out of the way - well barely. He hit my ankle, but other than that I'm fine. I don't think that driver's fine though. He crashed into a tree, and I don't know what happened after that. D:
Gave me a big scare! Yeah >< Next time I should learn to be more careful. I’m an idiot on the roads DD;
I realized I blog more truthfully here than I do at my main blog, because I find it easier to talk to people here. Sometimes, my friends don’t seem to understand me as much I’d like them to. They’re the best friends I can ask for, but sometimes…yeah. It’s funny that the people I trust the most are people I have never really met before. You guys know who you are! :-D
Heh, and, CHEER UP MY DEAR BITCH A.K.A ChazzyLuverGurl! <3 I LOVE YOU MEH, AND I’M WAITING FOR YOU (AND TWINNY!!) TO APPEAR IN MY FRIGGIN’ MAILBOX. Twinny <3 BETTER get her IM soon! Because I’m deprived of talking to my own TWIN and that makes me feel really depressed. D;
Okay, skip the next part, because it’s gonna be Fahrenheit blabbering. And I believe only WHOOMPAH <3 understands what I’m going to be blabbering about! :-D Because she was that one who got real high and hyper with about them with me until school came along and separated us. D;
I watched the video where all 4 of them started crying because of pressure from work and etc. Arron’s leg! D; D; His condition in worsening. Even though I do have to admit, he still looks UBER CUTE even when he’s crying. I mean, it’s really saddening. And it just makes me love him more <3 T-T I’ve been neglecting him for the whole of last month, and now I’m feeling so sad when I watch their vids, especially when he’s going through so much and I have no idea at all. DD;
Also, POOR JIRO!! He’s usually the very very bubbly sorta guy who can’t stop being hyper. It’s the first time I see him so upset! Because he’s been neglecting his family and he feels bad (?) Also his eyes got infected because of long hours of wearing contacts while filming. It hurts me to see him cry. D;
And, seeing all 4 of them crying makes me so sad DD; Because they’re such sweethearts!! (WHOOMPAH YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN >,<
If there were even any real hot guys who existed, it’ll be them for me. xD ARRON’S LIKE SUPER HOT?? I’ll continue to support them and love them like always. <3
Okay, I’m done Fahrenheit blahing. It’s time for me to start on my AMaths homework! T-T Wish me luck for tomorrow and Thursday’s tests too.
:B
Joy
to see me here, because I know it myself too that it has been 82759371 years since I came onto dA or even updated this magfaggot journal. Heh well don't you guys miss me! I miss you guys loads too!
Bliss
Miserable
Disgust
